I have been annoyingly stuck recently. I have started resorting to old habits I know don't serve me. There's a lot of circumstances and events I can point fingers at, that I could say are to blame. My anxiety. Work. The pandemic. My car. My finances. General life stress. Have you been there (this is where I imagine you nodding with me and saying, "yeah, duh...")?
I've been looking back at some of my previous blog topics to relearn and re-engage with internal work I thought I had already cycled through or moved onward from.
I thought I was up-leveling to the next chapter and phase. I thought I was ready to lean into this new level of confidence, and self-express in order to experience more freedom and share my gifts more openly (instead of what feels like primarily my weaknesses right now) with those that need them.
Yet, here I am, just a few months after this awakening, stuck. I've been backsliding.
Is it really backsliding though?
I've quickly remembered it's a part of the journey. The ebbs and flows of life. I signed up for this kind of work. I signed up for the deep work that makes for a full, intentional, and beautiful life. It's like Pandora's box - once you open it there's no going back. It's the kind of work that is rarely "complete" or "done". It's reoccurring. It's a part of evolving. That is one reason why I'm thankful for evolving. When I up-level it means I'm ready for the next challenge. It asks you to dig deeper and keep going.
I was recently listening to my girl, Ashley Stahl, on her You-Turn podcast. She said, "new level, new devil!" And it's true.
I also have a choice. I can reframe. I can choose a new thought. I can choose to continue to self-invest and practice hard work that makes for stronger relationships and better results.
Here's an example thought thanks to Shani Silver....
Thought: They got it. --> I didn't.
Thought Reframed (after feeling through the initial thought): They got it. --> Therefore, it's possible. And if it's possible, it can happen for me.
Also, in that example, comparison is a thief. If I don't like olives, I wouldn't be jealous of someone who does. It's a waste of time.
Let us not be so preoccupied with ourselves that we are unable to see the light (Check out Preetha ji TEDxKC Talk: How to end stress, unhappiness and anxiety to live in a beautiful state). To dig ourselves out of our own virtual realities and see it differently.
I invite you to take the time to be intentional about your thoughts, choose differently, and shift your mindset. It opens the door to becoming your own best friend, and you have to live with you the most.
I realize sometimes it's easier said than done, but try it once every day this week. Write it down. Share it with a loved one. Spread your growth mindset to those around you.
There's SO much science and data behind this idea. I'm not a therapist, but I am a coach and I have experienced this over and over again in my own life.
I can choose to have a growth mindset instead of a fixed mindset. I credit my inspiration of this ideology primarily to Tom and Lisa Bilyeu, and their business, Impact Theory.
I want to continue to reframe thoughts, and therefore make different choices thanks to the expansiveness of a growth mindset. This is the basis of positive psychology.
The first step is noticing when I'm stuck in a low-vibe, often times a fixed mindset. The next step is choosing differently in the future. I am human, and I also want to be a better one. I want to thrive. I want to have the most joyful life I possibly can, as often as I can. Do you?
Are you stuck? Where are you stuck? What thoughts are you having that you can reframe in order to get unstuck?
If this post resonated you, I encourage you to take 5 minutes and journal your responses to these questions.
Again, try reframing one thought each day. Write down the original thought, and the newly reframed thought. Come back here and comment. Tell me how it goes.